A Biscuit Is Not a Cookie

and a Chip Is Not a French Fry.




More myths I feel compelled to bust.

A biscuit is not a cookie. Biscuits are hard and crunchy and dry. Biscuits are to be eaten with tea, which makes you not mind the hard and dry part so much. And which, in the case of the dear Ginger Nut, stops you breaking a tooth. Whereas cookies are soft and chewy and gooey. And sweeter. It's not that I don't like biscuits. They can be very nice. Like Ginger Nuts or Tim Tams But they aren't the same thing as cookies and I miss cookies. (For further explanation, have a look and chuckle here.)

And chips aren't French fries either, darnnit. They flatter to deceive. Chips are big and soggy and often undercooked and become even soggier with the addition of much malt vinegar to try to add some flavor because the restaurant didn't bother to salt them when they came, half-cooked, out of the fryer. Chips get served under something (which has usually been fried too, like fish or a schnitzel) and get eaten with a fork in, of all things, the left hand.

Fries get served on the side, with ample amounts of ketchup which is FREE and not 50 cents to a dollar for one teeny little packet. Fries are thin and crispy and salty and lovely. Fries get eaten with your fingers, the way God intended;)

How do you spot the lone American in the European restaurant? Look for the person eating chips with ketchup and their fingers. It's just not done.

Out of fairness to the Commonwealth (which I really do quite like, in spite of my weariness with biscuits and chips), I must note that 80% of Americans don't actually know what tea is. Or cheese either, for that matter. And this is very sad.