The Must [not really trouble yourself to] See List

(a rather flattering portrait of Queenstown)



Okay, so we've seen a heckuva lot of world-class sites in the last year. It's obnoxious. It's a long and impressive list. For each new city or region we scour the guidebooks, searching for things that we find interesting or important for one reason or another. The lists get shorter and shorter every time. Again, it's obnoxious, but not a lot measures up after Paris. (Cliches are cliches for a reason...)

The guide book is no help. Its job is to convince you that every place listed in the book you just spent $25 for (plus a $1000 plane ticket) is absolutely fabulous, not to be missed. They are not. And you should. But no one will come out and tell you "Town X is an utter and complete craphole."

Witness: In January we spent a week in Tasmania. Tasmania is pretty cool. I recommend it--it's not at the top of my list, but I recommend it. Several people had told us that we had to stay in Strahan if we went to Tasmania. Strahan is kinda pricey (mainly b/c there's nothing else for 100 miles of Appalachian-esque backroads. For American readers: think West Virginia.) Since we were trying to save some money, Daniel briefly considered staying in the nearest town, about half an hour away, called Queenstown. We did not. For which I am truly thankful.

We drove through it en route to our next destination. Queenstown is the darkest pit of hell. Seriously. Someone set off another H bomb there and didn't bother to tell the rest of the world (since Tasmania is the end of the world anyways, said bomb droppers must've figured it didn't matter). It is truly the ugliest, most hideous place I've ever seen, and like I said, I've been around. Nothing could ever persuade me to stay there nor even to get out of the car if my bladder were about to explode. I can't believe people have to live there, it's that bad.

Queenstown was the victim of some especially exploitative and mismanaged mining. The soil has been so horribly polluted that nothing, nothing, nothing will grow there now. Hence in a state that is covered in forest and that boasts the cleanest air in the world, Queenstown is barren, barren, barren. But what does the Lonely Planet guidebook have to say about Queenstown? In a nutshell: Go see it--it's great--very "authentic"--much cooler than that stupid touristy "Strahan" place. You can't trust the guidebooks.

We did not fall for the LP's Queenstown swooning, having learned the hard way somewhere in the past that when the Lonely Planet uses the adjectives "authentic", "gritty", or "the real ____", one should run like heck. Thus we have taught ourselves to decode what we refer to as "the Lonely Planet B.S." The Lonely Planet thinks that every place is worth visiting. Except for the places that everyone wants to visit and have therefore earned the LP's most scorn-filled adjective: "touristy".

So since the guidebooks can't be trusted to tell you what really should be skipped (or at least what you definitely shouldn't bother to kill yourself to see, or should see only if you are a desperate fan), we've decided to. Thus I submit the following "Must [not really trouble yourself to] See List", with further posts to follow:

1. Anne Frank House
2. Sigmund Freud House, Vienna
3. The Top Deck of the Eiffel Tower
4. Cambodia